Most of us are living in the middle, learning to be okay with mediocrity, the halfway point between high and low.
Call it ‘normal,’ ‘everyday’ or ‘ordinary’ but we’re all in the midst of it, making toast and sipping tea and putting on yet another load of washing. There’s the irritable things we deal with, the difficulties we’ve come to accept and the delightful happenings that make everything a little lighter. Yes, we chase the light but we’re often forced to see the good in the mundane, too.
And being forced to notice it is a really good thing, I think.
When we were in the caravan, the days we would travel from one location to the next were stressful (for me) and exciting (for my partner). No matter how many pack-ups and set-ups we did, I never grew an affection for those days, mostly because they were uncertain and laborious, punctuated by random breaks at road stops, bad coffee and a chorus of backseat whinging and malarky. My kids generally don’t enjoy long car trips (is this the definition of irony?) and there are only so many peanut butter sandwiches and snacks to buffer all the sitting.
Travelling slowly was always our intention; we may have missed lots of places but we never felt like we missed out. When we arrived at a new destination we audibly exhaled, relieved that we’d made it and sometimes questioning our choices. Because that’s life isn’t it; acknowledging that you’re doing okay, questioning whether you should be doing things differently. If we had chosen to very consistently document and share our travels, it would be around this time that we would have got the drone out to record our arrival, footage enhanced by music and nature sounds that silenced our very own cacophony in the back seat. The highlights disguising the lowlights.
Instead we’d set up the van and boil the kettle, the kids would run to release all their built-up energy and we’d stretch our legs, look around at where we’d landed and congratulate ourselves for getting there in one piece, albeit with tired eyes and threadbare patience. No one ever saw those moments but they were some of the best, and I think about them often. They are the memories I hold so close and I rarely felt the need to document them. I just remember; those afternoons are in my mind for safe-keeping, existing in a cloud of contentment.
Contentment lives in the mediocre middle, I’m sure of it. And if that’s the case, why do we consistently have to drag ourselves back there, to that place where we can recognise the good that exists? We need constant reminders to see what’s right in front of us because personally and collectively, we’re so distracted.
Distraction is rife and it’s nothing new. It’s one of the reasons monasteries and ashrams exist; so you can sit in sparse quiet and observe and confront who you are. Living without distraction is a spiritual practice and in this age of relentless distraction, it’s like taming a persistent beast.
But also, our distractions are so shiny, prompting us to chase better and brighter, making us want more because how we live is, well, a little dull. Except that it’s not. Not at all.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with making plans and chasing goals. There’s nothing bad about success or achievement. But also, there is so much contentment to be found right where you are.
In the countless yoga classes I taught for many years, I always said aloud at the start of class:
“Be here now. For now, just be here.”
It was a beautiful thing to witness people come into the moment, settle into their body, breathe deeply for perhaps the first time that day (or week). There’s a reason we physically and mentally crave stillness because it gives us an opportunity to exhale.
I’m not suggesting that breathing deeply will change your perspective but when you slow down and pay attention, it doesn’t take long to notice that where you are is right where you need to be.
Till next time, take care x
Goodness, I really needed to read these words tonight. Thanks Jodi, for helping me find the perspective I didn’t even realise I was looking for.
Your writing always strikes a cord with me but these words were exactly what I needed tonight. I have had a long standing battle with contentment vs achievement. My quote in the year 12 yearbook under "biggest fear" was "being mediocre". I wrote about it in my morning pages today and your perspective on it was just the full circle moment I needed. Thankyou! We also did a long trip in our van last year with our twin boys and I have been struggling with feeling like I failed at a once in a lifetime opportunity; Im a photographer and the expectation for me to document everything (and share) everything is ever present. I cant tell you the relief I felt reading your words about your trip and the permission it gave me to stop beating myself up for instead being present, tired and content in the mediocracy of some of those days.