you can't force goosebumps
on turning down the noise and listening to your instinct
No walk this morning. It’s raining for the first time in weeks and it’s predicted to be like this for days. Tea and words it is. The kids go back to school tomorrow and I keep wondering - often aloud - how is it May already? I’m aghast at the speed and yet if I focus on the days, I burrow into my routine and they seem somewhat slower. The leaves have mostly fallen but we’re still sleeping with the windows cracked open. Isn’t this weather wonderful? people say. I want to reply: isn’t it strange!
This month I was supposed to be travelling to three cities for a perinatal health conference to speak on the topic of baby sleep. For those new here, I’m a health journalist and between 2022-2025 I wrote two (big) books on pregnancy, birth and postpartum. In November last year when I received the invitation, my immediate response was: yes! It was a paid opportunity and as a freelancer it’s common to develop an agreeable reflex. But I sat with it for a while and considered the work and energy involved, the time away from home and whether it was in line with where I wanted to be, professionally and creatively.
I’ll always write about motherhood and I’m passionate about advocating for new mothers and educating them where I can, but the more I sat with that invitation and considered whether it was something I wanted to pursue, the more I sensed my body recoiling. That was exactly the sign I needed. I trusted that by declining the opportunity, I would make space for something else.