writing about writing

quiet work, necessary self-discipline

Every single year I watch Sydney Writers’ Festival unfold on instagram and deeply regret not going. Next year, I say to myself. I have high hopes for 2027 although I’m not sure I will ever recover from knowing that Lily King was in my publisher’s offices and I wasn’t there. I feel like a petulant toddler stamping her foot, exclaiming: it’s just not fair! But: thank goodness for writers’ festivals and the groundswell of literary delight and connection they create (and sustain).

You know what else isn’t fair? The fact that my naughty dog jumped on the bed linen with dirty paws. I was mad for all of two minutes before I reconciled her actions; she just wanted to be close to me, as my slightly-anxious weighted blanket. I am always surprised by the things I let her get away with, probably because what she’s given me in the form of habit-shifts and small but consistent moments of joy far surpass what I presumed a dog could offer. I mean, she could learn to bring in the washing or make sure the wood pile is stacked, but according to her, barking at anyone who walks by is far more important and who am I to argue?

The first winter sniffles arrived this week and while I’ve been on the ‘caring’ side of things, I’ve also noticed my energy drop; the weather has turned and while it’s still not properly cold, I’m wearing a singlet under my long-sleeve tops and it’s always too cold for bare feet. When 4pm rolls around and I’m standing at the stove yet again, I think: Gosh, today felt short! and then I remember that these are the shortest days of the year and the only way to be in them is to slow down so they can, just slightly, stretch out.

Each day follows a familiar rhythm of late, one I’ve established for the sole purpose of completing the first draft of my novel in the small window of time I have to dedicate to it.

5:30am - walk

6:20 - 7:20am - write (with tea)

7:20 - 8:30am - breakfast, pack lunchboxes, get everyone ready for school and out the door

8:30am - 11:30am - coffee, writing, regular breaks to drink water, hang out the washing, etc

11:30am - 1pm - exercise class, lunch, shower, emails

1 - 2:30pm - write

And then there’s the afternoon routine of school pick-up, extra-curricular activities, dinner, folding washing, sweeping floors etc. It is the same most days. How boring! you may think. But here is what I know about my creative brain: in order for it to work consistently well, everything else needs to be simplified (the less decision making the better). Self-imposed daily habits are just as vital as self-imposed deadlines even though I know that life does not always adhere to them.

The only reason I’ve been able to carve out this dedicated time to write a book that has no contract – which is a complete luxury, I’m well aware – is because I got a grant from Arts Tasmania. So, rather than sit at my desk with the nagging thought that I should be doing work that pays bills, I can sit at my desk writing my first draft, knowing I’ve been paid to do so by the state government. Creative arts support is quite literally, life changing (and art making!).

For years I’ve referred to my work-in-progress as a ‘shitty first draft’ a la Anne Lamott but now, at 66000 words, I’m calling it a ‘messy first draft’. I’m confident in saying that it’s definitely not shit (progress!). The process has been slow so far, but now I’m coming to understand that it’s almost a requirement for fiction writing; the considered unfurling, the deep noticing, the sitting and waiting patiently for realisations to come.

There’s another year or so of work in this book before I hand it on to someone else but it’s starting to come together in a tangible, assured way. While there are thousands of words on the page that will be shifted and culled, the heart of the story exists, pulsing from beginning to end. My plan is to work on it till the end of May and then put it aside for a month before returning to it with fresh eyes. This is always a risk - the break - because time away from the work means it takes longer to settle back into it.

June will be the first month I officially start work on my new non-fiction book. I always begin by reading and note-taking and thinking so from the outside, it looks like a whole heap of nothing but it’s a routine I’ve created (for non-fic) that just seems to work. I write this while knowing that this new book may require something completely different from me — time will tell. This is the mystery embedded in the creative process but stay curious in this not-knowing and you’ll find your way down the right path.

There is immense pleasure in these writing experiences for me; not always joy as such, but the satisfaction of thinking deeply, of wrestling with words, of reading for inspiration, of digging my way into a story that I am creating. Writing makes me feel powerful because I can’t be complacent with it – I won’t let myself. Perhaps that’s what I have, an unwavering discipline – to do the work and to also care for myself so I can write and take care of everything else in the day (the endless, repetitive lists that exist in the family home).

Gosh, writing about writing after you spent your whole week writing is clearly necessary therapy. Thank you for being my generous listening ear. Hopefully there will be a complete novel to tell you about sometime soon. For now, the quiet work continues.

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thrifty tip

Next time you make broth, freeze it in ice-cube trays so it’s easy to add to meals or make a quick cup of hearty soup (perfect for when you’re sick). And if you don’t have time to make it, freeze the store-bought version (buy it when it’s on sale, which is often).

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other things

• A Brain That Breathes is being reprinted for the 6th time! If you’ve bought it, thank you for your support

• I’m going to cook this cottage pie sometime this week

• If you’ve read Strangers, were you left with questions about the reality of her financial precarity?

• Ann Patchett on getting rid of possessions (I can’t wait to read Whistler)

• Tessa Hadley’s first work of nonfiction coming soon: Alone With a Book (I write about writing so why wouldn’t I read about reading?!)

Till next week, take care x